In a recent article from the Business Insider, they discussed how Black men are not only being failed by mental health care, but we underutilize the services provided.
“Instead of receiving professional help for their depressive episodes, black men are often told to “pray it away” by older family members who find solace in scripture. Others are told to “man up” or “stop being a punk.””
In my experience, these are the exact quotes people have told me. It’s as if people believe that the solution to my problems is to somehow have a Superman approach to everything, kick it, punch it, or blow it away and it’ll be solved. The problem with my depressive episodes is that I don’t know any solutions to my problems. Every solution gets shot down or turns out doesn’t work at all, at least for me.
Let’s take my depression over my finances for example. I’m thousands of dollars in debt because of student loans. The solution is to make enough money to cover the cost. However because I’m a felon with a fraud case, any job that requires me to deal with vulnerable people or dealing with sensitive information, I’ll likely not get. Working for the state in the DMV with people license plate numbers and social security number…nope! Working for the Armed forces is out because now they don’t recruit felons. Working with any credit cards like most restaurant waiters is out. Most management jobs are out the question too. I can’t even work for Uber because of my case was a fraud. So the jobs I can get are dishwashing, bussing tables, or janitorial. At this point in time, I couldn’t work for the state of California in the food service area because of my fraud case. I think trying to work for State now is wasting my energy because it’s so hard to get hired even if I knew someone. So I have to try to pay my bills off with about $1400! I need at least $2500.
Working two jobs doesn’t guarantee that I would get everything I need to keep my bills current either. The jobs I’m working for could cut hours with little notice. And they jobs is predicated on my putting up with unprofessional management and co workers who are burned out and sick of their job. Such environment is not healthy for mental stability and fuels future depressive episodes because it feels as if I can’t do any better and that it feels like I’m only as good as my coworkers and management.
Why talk to a professional about my problem when I know the solution to my problem. Unless the professional is going to give me something that aids in my income creation, then there no point in having a conversation with them, let alone give them $100 an hour.
Another reason I don’t like talking to professionals is because I don’t like medication. I’m a creative person, which means I use my mind a lot. I need it to be free and think as it needs to and wander as it needs to in order to get the best content. My fear is Prozac will hurt my mind’s ability to wander. I’ve seen too many people use those medications and be every zombie like. I can’t be a zombie if I’m trying to put out a ton of content.
Again, I want a solution to my problems. I don’t need to just talk about it unless that conversation leads to us solving my problem. I don’t want to mask my problems either. I don’t want to run from problem, I want to solve the problem.