Demotivated To Write

8226451812_88007f08dfAs I get older I realize that my lack of productivity or demotivation isn’t always because I’m lazy. Sometimes I’m demotivated to write because my room is dirty. Sometimes I need new equipment. And other times, it’s because I don’t have a clear focus as to what I want to do, or I don’t trust the vision I laid out for myself.

Not having a clear vision is a result of not being sure of what you want. I know on my days off I’m struggling between trying to find a second job, write more blogs, and trying to enjoy my day off.  It’s like I spend the whole 16 hours of that day trying to figure out what to do first. When I finally figure it out, I got an hour before I go to bed. So I do nothing because I don’t have time.

My current solution to this is to create a daily schedule which maps out everything I need to do for that type of day. I divided the days of my week into off days and work days. On my off days, I would try to do more writing and researching for business ideas. On my work days, I’ll do just enough writing because I want to maximize my rest for the next day. The next thing I’ll add is a daily schedule to where I have specific task that need to get done on certain days of the week. For example, I’ll add my toastmaster’s meetings on Thursdays, because I go to them weekly.

The next time I’m working on is reevaluating my writing strategy. I start by asking a question: Why am I writing? I know it’s because I love it and I enjoy the freedom, but I don’t need to do it 9 hours a day. And if I do, why am I getting out of it besides “freedom and enjoyment?” I realized the answer to these questions changes with my change in financial stability, meaning I don’t see a point when I’m broke and I need to do more writing when I have money. When I think about that point I have to ask, “Am I writing for the money or am I stressing over money which prevents me from writing to the level I want to?” This is part of the reason I got a regular job; to assure that I will not need to stress over money, thus increasing my productivity. This is my second blog post in as many days after a very stressful month of August 2015. So maybe this is a sign of improving. However, when I see that I’ve been blogging daily and multiple times a day, I’ll be convinced. I will say, I do feel at need and urge to blog more.

I’ll go back to reevaluating my writing strategy. Even though I have some financial stability now, I still need to understand why I’m writing. There needs to be a business explanation to this. Because let’s be honest, if I just wanted to write to release, I wouldn’t be taking acting classes and going to Toastmasters meeting and seriously considering taking more writing classes. Clearly I have a desire to do so much more and doing anything less than that is unacceptable to me.

I decided to start with my writing goals and work backwards. My goal is to make money as a writer. I want to make a living telling unique stories about the African American lifestyle that isn’t always talked about or discussed in an attempt to increase dialogue about who we really are as a people. Now, how do I get there?

As I’m writing this I realized I don’t have an answer to my question above. I think it’s fair to say that could be the reason I have a lack of motivation is because I don’t know how to get there. I have book in the editing process and working on second one. Outside of that, I have really good ideas with nothing connecting them.

I think my next step in this journey to be a writer who makes a living as a writer is to learn how to put these ideas together. The next step is to put a team together who can take these ideas and turn them into productive solutions to get my career going.


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