I went into prison camp thinking positivity, but I knew it was going be difficult when I went home.
The truth was I had a mixed bad of emotions. I mean I sounded positive because I could read and write all day and really get a lot done. But the other half of me was like, “it’s prison, God knows what will happen.”
No matter what, prison was going to be something that was going to be positive. Even if I didn’t know how—it was going to be positive. Didn’t know how –it was going to be positive.
I had it set in my mind that I was going to use this time to figure out how to get myself from beating myself, how I was going to get out of my own way.
However, being in prison camp, it gave me time to think. I thought about the times I’ve done wrong—not that I’m a bad person, but did I do to prevent my self from being a great person who shapes the world?
Looking back, I had the wrong perception about things, about life and friends, and people about writing. I think my key to future success was to realize I have no boundaries or ceiling unless I make them and to appreciate the relationships I have. We have the internet where I could reach million of African Americans with my stories and humor. Truth was there are no boundaries if I don’t limit myself there are bumps and bruises and huddles. Those only hold me back if I allow them to do so.
After succeeding, more successes, suddenly and steadily failing all in Sacramento, plus seeing all other talent (artists, business, etc.) leave Sacramento, I didn’t want to come back. I felt like I hit the ceiling. Thus one of the many reasons I failed and kept failing. I thought the lack of resources would hold me back and I’ll fail again. That thinking was wrong. I created this ceiling, not to mention walls that limited my success. Not anyone else.
However after sitting in that bunk for the first time, I realized I had to come back and reestablish my root myself. Sacramento was the best place for me to do so. It was where most of my family lived. In fact, all the family I was close to lived in Sacramento.
It only made sense to come back and remember how I achieved my success. I was important for me to come back and see how I made the choices I’ve made and how my fears were formed.
Because of that, I think I’ll be in the better suited for other cities now that I understand where my problems originated.
Plus, it’s always nice to have a home to come home to.